20. Apr, 2021
It's not easy being green
How to make a short sleeveless kirtle.
1 - buy pretty dress from Wish (because at the time it seems like a good idea)
2- when dress finally arrives try it on and admire yourself with both amazement and wonder. Amazement because you could actually get it on, and wonder because you wonder where the Chinese manufacturers got the idea that Australian women keep one nipple under their neck and the other under their armpit.
3 - throw dress in corner with disgust ... after you have struggled out of it first.
4 - consider the money you have paid for said dress and take another look.
5 - believe you can fix dress so put onto coat hanger to consider.
6 - consider for the next 24 months or so.
7 - attack!
8 - retreat and unpick seams of dress.
9 - put dress back on coat hanger for more consideration.
10 - months later decide this is the day and patiently spend four plus hours cutting, stitching and altering.
11 - try on again and check out your alterations in mirror.
12 - take dress off in disgust - because you look like an over-stuffed sausage - and cut it up with scissors (save shirt just in case it might come in handy) Put the rest in the bin.
13 - go to bed mumbling about waste of money and waste of time. Toss and turn, then hours later, when you're about to fall asleep, think of a great idea.
14 - climb out of bed, rake through rubbish, put bits of dress on the kitchen bench to be washed the next day (note it is about 1-30 am)
15 - wash bits and dry. Then start pinning and cutting skirt (see ... you knew it might come in handy)
16 - try on finished garment. Tah-dah ... one short green kirtle